5657) I know this sounds irrational and like I have a huge ass victim complex but sometimes it feels like nobody understands me, not even other trans women. I know we all have different experiences but every trans woman I’ve talked to seems to have such a drastically different story about being trans, how they came to realize it, how old they were, etc. I feel alone.
5656) I’m really close with this one male friend of mine - we can talk about sexual things without it being weird (although I never mentioned being trans because I just don’t think it’s necessary since we’re just friends). He made a comment like, “Morning wood sucks. Not that you’d know.” Sadly I do know. :( I spent 19 years of my life not being on hormones so unfortunately that shit happened to me a lot as a teen. But I’m flattered that you don’t think I have a penis clearly. :)
5655) I hate when people act like I’m as bad as transphobic cis people because of my “internalized transphobia”. I admit I have a lot of that. It’s pretty hard not to in this day and age. But it converts into self-hate, not hate of others. Not everyone can be super prideful about something so shitty and terrible and hated. :/
5654) I miss being around the age of 12. Before puberty. Before my face and body masculinized. Before body hair. I miss the androgyny of youth. When I was that age, it was easy to pass. All I had to do is stuff a bra, grow my hair out, and wear clothes considered “feminine” by society, but now it’s next to impossible.
5653) My parents never abused me for being trans but we definitely don’t have the same relationship as before. I was kind of a mama’s boy and I was close to my dad too. But now we’re so distant. Whenever I try to initiate contact with them it’s very stilted and unfulfilling. I don’t mean to sound petty - I know some girls have it a lot worse with their parents. But it sucks to be close to yours your whole life and suddenly have that end for reasons out of your control. :(
5652) I often wonder if I’m alone because, even though I live in a big city and go to a major university and I am involved in various LGBTQIA things, I’ve never met another trans woman in person. I know I’m not because all of you are here.
5651) I’m dating someone who admitted they’re ashamed of me and it’d be odd to introduce me to their parents or friends. Now I’m not sure if they’re with me because it might be a fetish to date a “manly girl” or if they really love me for who I am.
5650) Sometimes I giggle at how different from the average heterosexual couple me and my boyfriend look (he’s ftm). I mean, how often do you see a couple with a man who is 5’2” and a woman who is 6’? I used to be self-conscious about this, but now I find it kind of great in a weird way.
5649) I only use the term “feel like a woman” to appease cis people, since this seems to make the most sense to them. I’ve found that using words to describe what being a trans woman feels like is next to impossible. I don’t “feel like a woman”, because I’ve lived my life as a man and to be honest, I have no idea what being a woman feels like, or how different it is at all. I don’t feel like a woman… I just don’t feel like a man. I don’t know how else to explain it…
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