MTF Confessions.

This is MTF Confessions; the area where you can tell the world what’s really going on in that Male to Female (MTF) head of yours. It doesn’t matter how far along you are in transitioning; anyone is welcome. TRIGGER WARNING. Most of these posts are safe but read carefully, yes? Submissions can be happy thoughts, sad thoughts, anything-thoughts.MTF Confessions.Tumblr (3.0; @mtfconfessions)http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/963) My sister found my women's deodorant and said that boys shouldn't use it. Heh, like I'm going to apologize for wanting to smell delicious.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24380219970http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24380219970Sun, 03 Jun 2012 20:00:44 -0700mtftransgenderSo out of random curiosity, how many of you guys have met/befriended each other and didn’t...<p>So out of random curiosity, how many of you guys have met/befriended each other and didn’t even know each other exists before this tumblr?</p> <p><br/>I just wanna know if I’m making friendships happen.</p> <p>If I’m not, then you all need to just go to each others ask boxes and befriend everyone.</p> <p>Cause we all need to be friends.</p> <p><img height="272" src="http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/430270_184779854955404_169402859826437_237057_1962447885_n.jpg" width="480"/></p> <p><strike>just replace “school” with “tumblr” lol x:</strike></p>http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24379931439http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24379931439Sun, 03 Jun 2012 19:56:38 -0700962) I'm sooooo scared to come out, even though I'm sure almost all of my family will accept me. /: I want to come out and get started toward transition because it seems like it'd be great to do it at this agee.. (14) UGH WHY IS THIS SO HARDhttp://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24363716098http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24363716098Sun, 03 Jun 2012 16:00:16 -0700mtftransgender961) I refuse to let my transition affect my dream of winning Ninja Warrior.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24347328456http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24347328456Sun, 03 Jun 2012 11:58:28 -0700mtftransgender960) It's scary, living on whatever money I can scrape together to get by. Hormones are so expensive, but I'd rather go without food or even a home before giving them up. I'm scared of not being able to afford them, and changing back to what I was before. I wouldn't be able to handle the horror. If it ever came to that, I'd be prepared to die rather than watching my body and mind change back to that.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24332345893http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24332345893Sun, 03 Jun 2012 07:59:33 -0700mtftransgender959) Despite the fact I whimsically wish I'd done this at 17, the fact I waited meant that I was financially secure with an amazing support network when I started; even if it was 10 years too late. I was bald, had a beard and weighed 200kg. Now I have actual hair, a baby-smooth face and I'm down to 108kg in less than a year. It's never too late and you've never got too much against you.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24323787636http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24323787636Sun, 03 Jun 2012 03:49:18 -0700mtftransgender958) Sometimes I wonder if I'm not transgender. Its a scary thought, because it's wondering if all the emotion, time, and energy I've put into the matter is for nothing. Then I realize that I can't remember the last time I stood while I went to the bathroom. Its been two years at least. That helps me a little, but then I think, "maybe I will want to stand or something, making me not transgender in the future, still making my efforts all for nothing." I then think to myself, "Naaaah. Not gonna happen.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24304947471http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24304947471Sat, 02 Jun 2012 19:52:24 -0700mtftransgender957) My girlfriend broke up with me because she is lesbian before I came out to her. Now that I'm out, I'm afraid people will think that I'm just saying I'm a transgirl because I want to get back with her.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24290864968http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24290864968Sat, 02 Jun 2012 16:00:39 -0700mtftransgender956) I shaved my legs for the first time last night and as customary these days with an unshaven area, I cut myself. I screamed a bit at first but then I started laughing. Even with the little cut, my legs feel so nice and I've never felt more comfortable in my own body as I am right now.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24276626055http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24276626055Sat, 02 Jun 2012 12:01:16 -0700mtftransgender955) I hate everything about Admiral Ackbar.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24262677325http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24262677325Sat, 02 Jun 2012 08:00:00 -0700mtftransgender954) There was a concert in Los Angeles I was going to go to this weekend as a boy and come back as a woman who was going to reveal herself to her family. And then my bank account told me to chill the fuck out. So now I'm depressed that I can't see my idols, come out to my family in a fancy way, or get out of this shitty town for even a few days.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24254383430http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24254383430Sat, 02 Jun 2012 03:50:52 -0700mtftransgender953) Being Transgender: At least you aren't confused with your twin anymore.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24237255196http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24237255196Fri, 01 Jun 2012 19:56:46 -0700mtftransgender952) I feel like the only reason anyone finds me attractive is because they see me as a guy and that's all I'll ever be to them. I'll never be an attractive girl.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24221751369http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24221751369Fri, 01 Jun 2012 16:00:54 -0700mtftransgender952) I hate my penis more than anything. One would think nature would not waste a good penis on me, but yup, thats what happened. It is disgusting. And except for perhaps maybe saving some sperm, I'm never going to use it. I always fantasize about being a woman in sex anyways. What I also loathe is that I will never be able to have female orgasms, menstruate, or give birth. And the only way I can have a vagina is through surgery, which I am terrified of, but willing to face.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24206971385http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24206971385Fri, 01 Jun 2012 11:57:16 -0700mtftransgender951) At work today, we were talking about the panic alarm on key fobs. I mentioned that I never really saw the point of them. That lead one of the engineers to launch into "Imagine that you're a woman, walking through a parking lot wearing a tight dress and high heels." A second engineer interrupted him, "[Male name] would have an easier time than any of us." I know he meant it as a putdown, but I felt empowered, especially since I'm not out.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24196354497http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24196354497Fri, 01 Jun 2012 07:53:02 -0700mtftransgender950) When my female friends talk about clothes I have a strong urge to join in the conversation. Then I remember how afraid I am to come out and I end up not talking until the conversation changes.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24189370204http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24189370204Fri, 01 Jun 2012 03:58:00 -0700mtftransgender949) I have not answered the question "how are you doing?" honestly in 6 years.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24173504366http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24173504366Thu, 31 May 2012 19:53:44 -0700mtftransgender948) I'm a trans lesbian who thinks penises are repulsive. I have no problem with cis lesbians not being into my penis when it's something I've always loathed having? I don't expect another lesbian to be attracted to my genitals, and I wouldn't want that anyway. My penis causes me gender dysphoria because it's incongruous with my gender identity. But it also causes me sexual dysphoria because it's also incongruous with my sexual identity. I don't want what I tucking between my legs to define me.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24156070672http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24156070672Thu, 31 May 2012 15:58:31 -0700mtftransgender947) Pronouns never really bothered me. I mean, I know how hard it is to change that sort of habit, but recently, more and more, I never EVER want to hear the word "he" again.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24140682088http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24140682088Thu, 31 May 2012 12:01:07 -0700mtftransgender946) I have a problem. I'm pre-everything. But I have girls clothes, and sometimes I try wearing them. When I have them on, it's ok, but after a while, and especially after I look in the mirror, it just feels wrong. It looks wrong. I am a guy in girls clothes. So I get really angry that Im a guy, that I was born with this body, that I am not on the outside who I am on the inside. So I cry and I shout and I throw things. That makes me feel even worse. I dont think I can ever enjoy dressing as a girl.http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24130216988http://mtfconfessions.tumblr.com/post/24130216988Thu, 31 May 2012 07:56:20 -0700mtftransgender