2812) I accidentally found out about my father’s fetish for trans people when I was 13 and using his computer. I saw the links to shemale porn on several different websites, on several different occasions. I didn’t ever tell him about it, and I don’t think he knows that I know. But because of that I do not want to come out to him. I get I’m his child and it shouldn’t be an issue, but god, I’m so freaked out and scared.

2811) My mom really likes unisex names, so I was blessed with both a first and middle name that is gender neutral, my first name even leaning more towards the feminine side. I love my name and I don’t want to change it because I think it suits me and it still can be a female name. But some people have told me this makes me a bad transsexual and honestly, they can screw off.

2810) I have started things to get onto HRT (which involves a wait time of a month or two) to give myself that litmus test and see if it is the right thing, but I still can’t bring myself to call myself “mtf” or “trans” or anything until I’m totally sure.

2808) I have had a beard for the last year and a half, and have known I’m trans about two years. I’ve been terrified to see a psychiatrist for the first time and start on hormones, but today I finally shaved the beard because I’m ready to start changing. It gave me more confidence than I would have thought, and I will start hormones this summer and see a psychiatrist to start setting things in motion for my SRS.

2804) One time I posted my pic on a forum (a trans forum nonetheless) on a thread for asking others if we passed. And I sort of figured I didn’t and I guess I was expecting people to say so, but one response was incredibly fucking rude. They said (paraphrased) that I was the ugliest excuse for an MTF they ever saw. And it really hurt. Like sure, I don’t pass, that’s fine I guess (although it sucks), but did you have to be so hurtful in telling me that? Ever since then I’ve been self conscious.

2803) I told my friend who I may end up dating (we have mutual crushes on each other) that I am MTF. And she was like “Oh, I figured, you did look kinda masculine”. And it’s not like she didn’t accept me, and in fact she still seems into me despite this news which I’m thrilled about, but it still really hurt, because I sort of wanted her to be surprised that I could have possibly been born a man for whatever reason, maybe because it would indicate I passed pretty well.